30 Years and Counting - Post Script

Reunited and it feels so good.
Reunited 'cause we understood.
There's one perfect fit
And, sugar, this one is it.
We both are so excited
'Cause we're reunited, hey, hey.

- from Reunited by Peaches and Herb* (the Billboard #1 song on 22 May 1979)


And finally, I want to take a moment to thank eleven very special people:

The Reunion Committee

> Blythe Barfield Waugh

> Kelly Bohannan Dudley

> Stan Bugh

> Lisa Gregston Borger

> Kristi Herd Tackett

> Cindy Lay Ketchum

> Stacy Shields Gill

> Jeff Smith

> Jeanne Staab Jones

> Bo Summers

and the Reunion Webmaster, Kevin Wood.

Basically, these eleven souls did a stellar job of organizing and executing the 'classmate hunt' and the Reunion Weekend itself. My sister-in-law is a professional event planner and I don't think she could have done any more than you eleven did. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for a fantastic weekend! God Bless you all!

Best regards...


* Reunited © Polydor Records 1978


© James P. Rice 2009

30 Years and Counting - Epilogue

I wonder what tomorrow has in mind for me
Or am I even in it's mind at all.
Perhaps I'll get a chance to look ahead and see
Soon as I find myself a crystal ball.
Soon as I find myself a crystal ball.

- from Crystal Ball by Styx*


(Okay...I can almost hear some of you out there cheering, now that I've reached the end...)

The bottom line of these last ten posts with which I wish to leave you is this: if you have a reunion of your high school graduating class coming up, duct tape your own Captain Paranoia to a chair and go. The experience was exhilarating, refreshing, and more than a little liberating. In short, it was a blessing.


If this shadow has offended,
Think but this, and all is mended;
That you have but slumber'd here
While these words did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend;
If you pardon, I shall mend.
Whilst a joyous time by me was had,
And all I saw did make me glad,
I must admit to faces missed
In this parting of Time's mist.
Jeff and Jeff and Jackie, too,
Marvelyn, I did miss you.
Patty, Cindy, Mike, and John,
I pray success has carried on.
Clark and Susan and Eileen;
Faces wished for but not seen.
Fin'ly, now, a gentle prayer
For friends of ours no longer here:
May God's sweet mercy on your soul
Waft you to your final goal.
To all the rest, I bid adieu,
With hopes to once again see you
Someday, in a future time,
When the Class of '79,
Can once again in Tulsa meet.
Until then, may your lives be sweet.

(with a tip of the hat to The Bard)

Best regards...



* Crystal Ball © A&M Records, Inc. 1976, 1988


© James P. Rice 2009

A Decade (posts, not years) of 30 Years and Counting: The Show Must Go On!

The Show must go on!
The Show must go on!
Inside my heart is breaking,
My makeup may be flaking,
But my smile, still, stays on!

- from The Show Must Go On! by Queen*


When last we met, I droned on for two segments about an epiphany I'd had regarding my friends from high school. What was so interesting about that blinding flash of clarity was that, as we chatted and reminisced, a number of my friends said much the same...that they just never really felt any sort of peer pressure from their classmates. It was a wonderfully warm feeling to have my own observation confirmed.

Another interesting revelation was how some of my classmates viewed themselves during high school. One of the best examples of this is Diane.

I was in awe of Diane in high school. In my eyes (and those of more than a few of my acquaintances), she was beautiful, elegant, sophisticated, intelligent, talented, worldly, kind, eloquent, fun, inspiring...did I mention beautiful? She had traveled the world...had experienced places I dreamt of...lived in cultures outside of our own. When she was on the stage, it was like watching one of the stars of the golden age of theater. In my mind, she was the Katherine Hepburn of our generation. Imagine my surprise when, during our reunion lunch, she described herself in high school as "nerdy, clumsy, and goofy."

This was the young lady for whom I had spent most of a week working up the courage to ask her to accompany me to an awards banquet our Junior year. I was totally self-conscious the night of that banquet...afraid I would embarrass myself in front of her, while secretly basking in the pride of having such a special person as my date. Her revelation of her self-image from back then served to make that night that much more special. The fact that she felt like that on the inside while projecting the outer image I and others saw served to justify my personal belief in how special Diane is. After all, she was one of the people who inspired me to continue striving to graduate with the Class of '79.

Our lunch that Sunday, as was the entire weekend, was filled with observations and revelations such as these. I deeply believe that they have helped strengthen old friendships and create new ones amongst the Class of '79.

After several hours, we all finally admitted that we had to go our separate ways. We took a few group photos, along with a portrait of Frida Kahlo the restaurant had on display (unbeknownst to me, it was the day before the 55th anniversary of her death), and began to head out. Even then it was tough to let go...after more hugs and promises to keep in touch, several of us gathered on the sidewalk outside of El Guapo's and chatted for another half hour. Finally, we reluctantly parted and headed to our various modes of transportation. After all, the show that is our current lives must go on.

Next time, a look into the Crystal Ball. Until then, best regards...


* The Show Must Go On! © Queen Productions Ltd. 1991


© James P. Rice 2009

30 Years and Counting's Ninth -or- Thank You for Being a Friend!

Thank you for being a friend.
Traveled down the road and back again,
Your heart is true you're a pal and a confidant.

I'm not ashamed to say,
I hope it always will stay this way.
My hat is off, won't you stand up and take a bow.

- from Andrew Gold's Thank You for Being a Friend!*


As I noted last time, I now know that I suffered from undiagnosed clinical depression my Senior year in high school. The reason I mentioned everything that led to my depression was so you would understand why I had all but given up on successfully completing high school. I couldn't see how to get out of the pit I was in and was on the verge of allowing the depression to paralyze me. That's where the people I've been talking about came in. Between the friends I was having lunch with at El Guapo's on Sunday the 12th, other friends I've mentioned throughout this series, and two special teachers, I (barely) managed to graduate.

I don't think any of my friends ever knew how close it had been or how important they had been to me. It wasn't because they tutored me or (God Forbid) helped me cheat, it was because of two things: 1) they provided me with living examples of what I should be doing; and 2) they never once applied Peer Pressure to me for any reason. If I didn't have two teen aged daughters of my own that had allowed me to view Peer Pressure from a father's point of view, I don't think I would have ever realized how blessed I was in high school.

During my years at Memorial, I knew people who used recreational drugs, who were a bit wild, who smoked, who skipped school, who had secret lives, who...well, you get the idea. But not a single one of those people ever put any sort of pressure on me to do what they were doing. I was offered the opportunity to join in if I wanted to, but it was no big deal if I didn't. I was blessed to be surrounded by the sweetest, kindest, funnest, most truly Cool students to ever grace a high school. Quite frankly, the obnoxiously vain crack weasels that are presented as the so-called 'cool kids' in the teen dramas from the 90's and early part of this decade aren't worthy of cleaning the toilets of those I knew in high school. That hot Sunday in Tulsa, I was lunching with the real deal.

Next time, The Show Must Go On. Until then, best regards...



* Thank You for Being a Friend © Lackyu Music, Los Angeles, CA 1978


© James P. Rice 2009

The 30 Years and Counting Octopost -or- Send in the Clowns

Don't you love farce?
My fault I fear.
I thought that you'd want what I want.
Sorry, my dear.
But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother, they're here.

- excerpt from Send in the Clowns, from the Stephen Sondheim musical, A Little Night Music*

While most of our classmates began their journeys home on Sunday, a dozen of us met at El Guapo's at noon for an impromptu reunion of the Masque & Gavel...and anyone else who'd been involved in the performing arts at Memorial. Like Jaimie's concert on Thursday night, it wasn't limited to the members of the Class of '79. Chargers from the Classes of 1980 and 1981 joined us for Tulsa-style TexMex, a pitcher of Mimosas, and more aerobic exercise for our memories. Beyond the hugs and smiles, the memories and updates, I began to realize what was so special about my time in high school with these people.

To set the stage for this little epiphany, let me tell you a bit about the 17 year old me. I was too smart for my own good. What this means is that, while I had the intellect that got me into the National Honor Society at the end of 9th grade, I didn't have the maturity to handle the additional responsibilities of being in high school. I had always been smart enough to make mostly A's, along with a B or two, just from the information I absorbed in class. I almost never had to crack a book. The problem with this was that I never learned how to study. By the time I hit the second half of my Junior year, I realized I was in trouble because most of my teachers were teaching "college style"...in other words, they only provided about half of the information in class and expected the students to fill in the gaps by completing outside assignments. My last three semesters were also when Real Life slapped me in the face and I was confronted for the first time with people in power (teachers) who let personal opinion and prejudices color the grades they gave me instead of going solely by my scores on assignments and tests. By Christmas break 1978, I was looking at repeating the 12th grade as a serious possibility. I didn't know it at the time, but I've since found out that I was suffering from depression I didn't know how to handle during my Senior year.

Next time, Thank You for Being a Friend! Until then, best regards...


* A Little Night Music and Send in the Clowns © Copyright Little Night Music Ltd, 2009


© James P. Rice 2009

30 Years and Counting, Pt. 7 - S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT!

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT!

Gonna keep on dancin' to the rock and roll
On Saturday night, Saturday night!
Dancin' to the rhythm in our heart and soul
On Saturday night, Saturday night!

- from Saturday Night by the Bay City Rollers*


Seven bottles of water, a plate full of Texas-quality barbeque, and an earful of hot news later, it was time to get ready for the big dinner at the Oklahoma Jazz Hall of Fame. After another admonishment from Bo about wearing a tie, in which he used the word "scissors" a couple more times, I decided to go for 'artist casual' and wore black slacks and a Columbia blue pocket T. Unfortunately, the dress shoes I'd worn the night before had aggravated a problem in my Achilles tendon, so I had to wear my hiking boots in order to have the support I needed to walk.

When I arrived at the former Union Depot in downtown Tulsa, I noticed quite a few sports jackets and ties (when will I learn not to take fashion advice from Bo?!?) There were also more than a few people in 'business casual'...tieless with open collars...so I didn't really feel out of place.

At the risk of being redundant, the food was wonderful and the company exquisite! I continued catching up with classmates whom I'd either only exchanged a quick "Hi!" with or had completely missed at the other gatherings. I also got to know some of my classmates' spouses better. Kelly, Clel, Patrick, and Justine have all married some wonderful people.

After dinner, we were entertained by a singing trio called, The G-notes. They were very versatile and entertaining...using canned accompaniment to sing the hits of the 60's, 70's, and 80's. Couples immediately began to hit the dance floor…Sheri was as enthusiastic as she had been 30 years ago. After their first set, we all adjourned outside to have a group photo take under the Depression-era Art Deco facade of the restored Union Depot. Afterward, it was back inside for more chatting and dancing. Diane even got me out on the dance floor once...hiking boots and all. All in all, a fabulous time was had by all. It was incredible seeing how much people like Patrick, Brian, Janet, and Clel had changed over the years…but more stunning was how many like Betsy, Justine, Diane, Mike, Gordon, and Dana look as if the only thing that had changed was their hair styles. I don’t think any of us wanted that night to end…but as has been said many times before, all good things must come to an end.

As people began to filter out, there was a lot more hugging, promises to keep in touch, and more than a few tears. For most people, Sunday was going to be a day of travel back to their homes. That had been my original plan, but one more last minute gathering had been planned for Sunday…a reunion of Memorial’s drama club, the Masque & Gavel.

Next time, Send in the Clowns. Until then, best regards…



* Saturday Night © Bell/Arista Records 1974, 2004


© James P. Rice 2009

The Sixth Part of 30 Years and Counting: Some Like It Hot

Some like it hot and some sweat when the heat is on.
Some feel the heat and decide that they can't go on.
Some like it hot, but you can't tell how hot 'til you try.
Some like it hot, so let's turn up the heat 'til we fry.

- from Some Like It Hot by The Power Station*


Justine's hug pretty much launched a stellar night for me. As with Thursday night, it was wonderful having the opportunity to renew old friendships and to turn casual acquaintances into new friendships. One of the highlights of the new friendships I made was when I discovered that Patrick, with whom I'd had a casual acquaintance in high school, was one of the people I consider the true heroes of the United States. It seems that after high school, he decided his first college major just wasn't working for him, so he managed to earn an appointment to the United States Naval Academy at Annapolis from which he graduated in 1985 and earned his Commission. He is currently the highly-decorated Commanding Officer of a Ticonderoga class guided missile cruiser.

The rest of the night was much the same; a blur of hugs, smiles, laughter, and amazement as I learned how far so many of my classmates had come since our days on South Hudson Avenue. I didn't even think once about 'Captain Paranoia.'

Saturday dawned, promising to be hot, humid, and sunny. Our first event of the day was a Class Picnic that some of the locals had put together at the last minute. My sense of duty wouldn't let me arrive empty-handed, so I stopped at SAM's and grabbed a case of bottled water. Its a good thing I did.

To be fair, living in the Austin area has me acclimated to summer days when the temperature and the humidity are both in the high 90's. I've learned that, as long as I have a hat, a source of water, and either shade or a good supply of SPF 50, a fun time can be had. So I showed up at LaFortune Park with my "workin' in the yard" hat, a case of bottled water, and a heavy-duty camp chair. After stashing the water with the rest and grabbing an already-chilled bottle, I let my memory continue its jogging.

Alan, Gary, Eddie, and all the rest did a fantastic job. The barbeque served was actually prepared by my classmates and it was delicious! But the big surprise from this event was that I discovered that at least a couple of my classmates had been receiving some extra-special tutoring from a couple of teachers. There had always been rumors and innuendos, but it was still entertaining to find out the truth. Hot summer day, hot food, and hot news. Gotta love it!

Next time, S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT!

Until then, best regards...


* Some Like It Hot © Capitol/EMI 1985, 2005


© James P. Rice 2009

A Fifth of 30 Years and Counting -or- Take Me Back to Tulsa

Hurry, don't be late, I can hardly wait.
I said to myself, "when we're old
We'll go dancing in the dark,
Walking through the park, and reminiscing."

- excerpt from Reminiscing by the Little River Band*

Friday morning, after a few hours sleep on Dad's sofa and a late breakfast, I took off to tour Tulsa and do some reminiscing. This was my first time back to town since I'd moved away in 1984 that wasn't stuffed full of family commitments and scheduled events. I wanted to look around my birthplace and see for myself the changes I'd heard about. So I headed for the places that were a big part of my teen years: Sheridan Lanes...the Bowman Twin...Don's Restaurant...Bells...Driller Park...St. Michael's Alley. Okay, in some cases I visited the spot where the place used to be.

I also took the time to find the venues for the Reunion. While downtown checking on parking for the Jazz Depot, I saw the new BOk Center and the pit at First and Frankfort I'm told will be the Drillers' new stadium. It was strange seeing some of the old landmarks hidden amongst new construction. Finally, it was time to get ready for the Meet-n-Greet at the Stokely Event Center, so I headed back to my Dad's place to clean up.

Somewhere along the way, I'd missed the note in the schedule that said 'casual attire,' so I wore a tie to Friday night's event. As soon as I arrived, I knew I was over-dressed. After a few choice words from Bo (which included 'scissors'), the tie came off and I began mingling. . I saw many of the same faces I'd seen at the Sunset Grill, but I have to say the highlight of the night was when I was finally able to get a moment with Justine.

In high school, Justine and I were casual friends. We were in different clubs and orgs...she was in Surfs, STUCO, and the NHS, while I was in Wind Ensemble, Masque & Gavel, and barely graduated...but we had a couple of classes together. The thing I most remember about Justine is that she always had a smile for me. When I began connecting with classmates in Facebook, she was one of the first I 'Friended.' Over the months, I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know the mom/banker/entrepreneur into which she had blossomed. The better I got to know her, the more I came to value her opinions and input...even when I did not agree with them.

When I spied her Friday night conversing with three of our classmates, I moved over near her and patiently waited for her to finish, all the while trying not to eaves drop. When she noticed me, though, she immediately paused and came over to greet me.

Now, I have to say that the best non-Maternal hug I've ever received in my life was from my darling wife, Marilyn. But I have to admit that the best non-spousal hug I've ever received was that Friday night from Justine. It was an embrace between old, dear friends...so full of warmth and kindness that the last of my misgivings fled. I received many warm hugs that weekend, but I have to be honest; none could approach Justine's hug. I only hope she got half as much out of it as I did.

In the next installment, Some Like It Hot. Until then, best regards...



* Reminiscing © EMI Music Australia Pty Limited 2002


© James P. Rice 2009

A Quart of 30 Years and Counting -or- Memories: They aren't just for Cats!

"Memory - all alone in the moonlight.
I can smile at the old days,
I was beautiful then.
I remember the time I knew what happiness was.
Let the memory live again."

- excerpt from "Memory" from the musical, Cats*


First night in Tulsa and I felt as if I'd returned home. Great music, cold Guinness, and a wonderfully warm welcome by old friends...and some classmates who had only been casual acquaintances. Even though it was an unofficial event, everyone attending Jaimie's concert at the Sunset Grill had a great time. It turns out this was to be a precursor of the theme for the whole Reunion: great venue, excellent company, and a wonderful time had by all.

One of the best parts of that first night is that my memory took up jogging. After all the "its great to see you agains," nearly every conversation became a mix of catching up and reminiscing. Even now, my memory is playing tricks with me and I'm certain I missed mentioning someone who greeted me Thursday night. Let me assure you that it isn't intentional...a combination of the stresses I've experienced over the last few years and the pain management meds doctors have prescribed for me have wreaked havoc with my memory...especially short term. This is one of the reasons I decided to blog about the Reunion...to help keep my memory jogging.

Walking around the Sunset Grill...chatting with everyone...I found myself suddenly remembering more and more. In some cases, it was an expression on a somewhat familiar face...a turn of phrase...or even one reminiscence simply leading to another. The curtains gradually parted on the stage of the past and, one by one, my memories began to step into the spotlight and take a bow. Have I mixed enough metaphors yet?

I went back to my dad's apartment that night, the evening a cyclone in my mind. Before going to bed, I logged into Facebook and and sent 'friend' invitations to many of the people I re-met at the club. I began making notes, hoping they would help me organize my thoughts and ensure I would remember as much as possible.

Next time, the Hug of the Century and Take Me Back to Tulsa.

Until then, best regards...


* Cats © Copyright The Really Useful Group Ltd. 1981


© James P. Rice 2009

30 Years and Counting III; Once More into the Breach...

Previously, in 30 Years and Counting...

(I can almost hear Taurean Blacque* reading that line as a voice-over)

I laid out the issues troubling me about the upcoming Reunion and opened up a can of good old-fashioned Texas Whoop-ass on my insecurities. With Captain Paranoia's attempts at reprobation muffled to indistinct muttering, I loaded up the minivan and headed to Tulsa.

At this time in my life, I'm fortunate that I'm no longer chained to a time clock. Having more flexibility than I used to, I was able to head north a day earlier than planned so that I could attend the club gig of Jaimie Muehlhausen...one of my classmates who is a professional musician. Between a minor mechanical problem and Oklahoma's tendency to place nearly every major highway in the state under construction at the same time, I arrived in T-town a bit later than I'd planned. After I got settled at my dad's place (and tried once again to convince him that the purpose of this visit was the Reunion and not to spend every waking moment with him), I arrived at the Sunset Grill about an hour and a half late...well into Jaimie's performance.

I was lucky enough to find a parking spot right in front of the club. As I got out of the van, I could hear a couple of women sitting at an outdoor table speculating on whether or not it really was Jim Rice getting out of the van. I smiled, said, "Hi!", assured them it was I, then headed into the club. Almost immediately, my insecurities began to dissolve. To a faint chorus of "I'm Mellltinngggg!" from the Captain, I was warmly greeted with smiles and hugs by Bo, Diane, and Cheryl. After grabbing a Guinness at the bar, I was warmly greeted by Sheilah, Brian, and Rob...all to a background of "Roots Rockin' Swamp/Blues/Americana/Southern/Country/Soul" by Jaimie, Tom, Kathy, and Liz. I was surrounded by warmth and acceptance. In spite of what Thomas Wolfe once wrote, I felt like I'd come home.

Next time...Memories; they aren't just for Cats!...

Until then, best regards...


*Think: Hill Street Blues.


© 2009 James P. Rice

30 Years and Counting; Pt. 2...

As I previously mentioned, I approached my 30-year Reunion with a bit of trepidation. One of my greatest regrets in life has been that I lost contact with my closest friends from high school, so I was anxious...even eager...to attend the Reunion and see my old friends. On the other hand, I was concerned that my memories of those years had grown foggy and been mellowed by time. Did I remember those relationships correctly? Will those people remember me as fondly as I remember them? Will they remember me at all? Will those classmates with whom I made hormone-driven teen-aged mistakes even want to see me again?

They say we are each our own worst critic. Not only am I living proof of that, but in my case it can be expanded to read, "we are each our own hardest taskmaster." Early in life, I developed a strong foundation of principles by which I've always tried to live my life. While I've always believed myself to be an open-minded individual, willing to listen to any and all points of views, it has always taken overwhelming factual proof for me to make any modifications to the bedrock of my beliefs. Being Human, I've not always lived up to my Principles. And this is where I'm not only the hardest on myself, but also the most unforgiving. Because of this, I projected my own disappointment with myself into my former classmates, convinced they would see me the way I do. Way back in the dark recesses of my mind, the little voice I once heard referred to as 'Captain Paranoia' was whispering to me: "Hypocrite! Mr. High-and-mighty! No one wants to see this great big bag of wasted potential again!"

Right about now, a certain classmate with a PhD in Psychology is wishing she'd known about this when I was still in Tulsa. :)

Finally, I decided to face my demons. So I mentally duct-taped Captain Paranoia to a chair and bought my tickets for the Reunion. Come Hell or high water, I was going to get reacquainted with my old classmates...consequences be damned!

Next time...Once More into the Breach...

Until then, best regards...


© 2009 James P. Rice

30 Years and Counting...

> A University New Student Orientation Administrator

> A Hair Colorist

> An Investment Banker and Entrepreneur

> A Legal Assistant

> An Insurance Broker

> A Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine

> The Commanding Officer of a Ticonderoga class guided missile cruiser

> The tallest woman to ever appear in Playboy

> An Investment Counselor

> An Oil and Gas Management Executive

> A retired Marine

> An Elementary School Teacher

> A CPA

> A Pilot

> The Chief of Staff for a U.S. Congressman

> A Medical Student

What do all these people have in common? They are just a few of my classmates from the Tulsa Memorial Senior High School graduating class of 1979. Recently, I was blessed with the opportunity to reconnect with many of them at the Reunion held to celebrate the 30th anniversary of our graduation from high school.

Originally scheduled for the 10th and 11th of July, two unofficial events were added to the mix; a concert at a local club by one of our classmates on the evening of 9 July, and a corollary reunion of the Tulsa Memorial High School Masque & Gavel...our Drama Club...on 12 July.

I have to admit that I approached the Reunion with a certain amount of ambivalence. For one thing, I hadn't attended any of the other Reunions of my graduating class...partially because I never found out about them until after the fact, but also because I felt I hadn't lived up to my potential since graduation. But with the 30th coming up, I was determined to attend, in spite of my trepidations, and be satisfied with the paths I'd chosen.

As a side bar here, I'd like to say to anyone planning any sort of reunion for themselves, Facebook has been invaluable. I probably would not have heard about our 30th Reunion if it hadn't been for Facebook. If you are planning something...whether it be a class reunion, family reunion, fan convention, or whatever...get on Facebook and create a user group page for your event. Its a great way to scoop up people you might otherwise miss.

I think this will be all for now. When next I post, I'll talk about the difference between anticipating the reactions of people you haven't seen in 30 years, and their actual reactions to seeing you again.

Until next time, best regards...


© 2009 James P. Rice