Sacrifice No More

“We all make little sacrifices.”
“That’s just one of the little sacrifices we have to make.”
“Do you know what I sacrificed for you?”
“He sacrificed his life for his country.”

I’m sure you’ve all heard these little phrases, or other phrases just like them. You’ve all probably even used them. But how many of people actually understand just what it is they are saying?

According to the dictionary, there are two primary definitions for the word, ‘sacrifice.’ The first definition, the religious one, defines a sacrifice as tribute, usually an animal or person, that is destroyed to demonstrate devotion to a deity. The second definition, the secular one, defines a sacrifice as a loss entailed by giving up or selling something at less than its actual value. I’ll focus on the secular definition since I’m not certain I want to know if any of you are practicing ritual sacrifice.

Basically, the secular definition means that, when you sacrifice, you are giving up something of importance to you in favor of something of lesser value. I can see that many of you are wondering how I came to that conclusion. Look at it this way…if the something you gained were naturally of greater value to you than the something you gave up, then the effort to obtain it wouldn’t have been a sacrifice to you, would it? Unfortunately, we have become a society of victims, with many people judging their personal worth not only by what they can accumulate, but also by what they gave up to obtain it. They wear their losses like badges of honor, pulling them out and parading them at society functions in a bizarre game of ‘loss one-upmanship’. This is often referred to as the Martyr Mentality.

In an attempt to establish themselves as martyrs, people have stopped accepting responsibility for their actions and choices. For some reason, they expect to be able to eat their cake and still have it, to paraphrase Marie Antoinette. If they find themselves in a situation where they can’t have it all…one that requires them to choose between one something and another, they view themselves as having been forced by events beyond their control into situations where they must choose the lesser evil. A good example of this is in the way our society speaks of the men and women in our armed forces.

We are constantly bombarded by comments that the members of our armed forces…whether they be regular active duty, Reservists, or National Guard…have ‘sacrificed’ their personal, professional, or family lives in order to serve our nation. So far, none of the soldiers, sailors, marines, or airmen with whom I’ve spoken has ever used the word ‘sacrifice’ when discussing their service. They use words like ‘duty’, ‘honor’, and ‘choice’. They do not view their service as giving up something of value for something of less value. Quite the contrary, they view their choice to defend liberty as one of the greatest gifts they could ever give their families and neighbors. They are proud, and rightly so, that they ‘choose’ and do not ‘sacrifice’ when they serve. This is especially true of the service men and women who are wounded or killed performing their duty. Time and again, wounded soldiers ask when they can go back and rejoin their unit. Even amputees, when asked, have stated that their greatest regret is that they cannot return to their posts. And can you imagine any service man or woman who gave the last, full measure would ever consider their choice to lay down their life defending the Constitution to be a ‘sacrifice’?

On September 11th, 2001, the world saw what it meant to be an American who chose to be of service to his or her neighbors. The firefighters and police officers of New York City did not consider it a ‘sacrifice’ when they put themselves in harm’s way in order to evacuate the damaged Twin Towers as quickly and as safely as possible. These men and women chose their professions knowing that they may be injured or killed helping a stranger. Yet even off-duty officers and firefighters raced to the World Trade Center, pausing not to consider the risk, but to grab what equipment they could, and thought only of saving as many strangers as possible. The firefighters charged up nearly a hundred flights of stairs with a hundred pounds of equipment strapped to their bodies, encouraging evacuees as they went to remain calm yet speedy in their downward flight. Yet, even after the first tower collapsed and they were ordered to evacuate the second tower, they didn’t panic. Instead, they continued to search each floor as they traveled back down the stairways, making certain they rescued all they could, and even stopped to help civilians who had collapsed on the stairs on the way out. Outside, police officers ran…not away from the towers…but toward them in an effort to help the wounded and crippled out of the danger zone. Once again, even after the first tower collapsed, police and EMS continued helping evacuees away from the second tower. All of these heroes would be offended if anyone suggested they gave up something of greater value to save all those lives on that dark Tuesday. They definitely had no intention of becoming martyrs.

But, the most heinous example of this mentality in our modern society is within families.

I can’t tell you the number of times I have heard people talking about “the sacrifices they made for their children.” Don’t raise your hands, but how many of you heard that from your parents, or may have even said it to your own children? I don’t know about you, but it makes me sick every time I hear it. Children are not the lesser of two evils. Quite the opposite! Children are the most valuable commodity in existence. I challenge anyone who’s ever seen my children to tell me it looks like I settled for something of lesser value! As Robert Heinlein once wrote, “If the universe has any purpose more important than topping the woman you love and making a baby with her hearty help, I’ve never heard of it!”

Every time a parent refers to the ‘sacrifices’ made on behalf of their children, they diminish the value of those children. When parents make those comments in front of or to the children, the child’s self-image suffers. The parents are implying that they bartered away something they viewed to be of greater value than their children just so the children would have the honor of existing. What it actually demonstrates is the fact that the parents have not yet grown up…that they in fact have the moral maturity of a seven year-old. They often treat parenthood, not as the honor and duty that it is, but as a prison sentence. Quite frankly, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if these ‘poor’, ‘deprived’ parents could tell me that it is only 6,574 days from birth to their child’s 18th birthday.

It is time people stopped trying to prove how noble they were in allowing their children to come into existence. Instead, it is time to rejoice in the miracle that is childbirth…rejoice in their part in bringing another life into being. It is also time to recognize that children are the result of life choices, not of sacrifices, and that the child’s existence is a sacred honor for the parent, not the child.

Quite frankly, it is time to view all of our choices in that light and not as sacrifices. It is time to wake up, stop making excuses, and lose the “Martyr Mentality”! Be responsible adults…accept the consequences of your choices with no regrets. This is easy if you root all your choices in principles. If you make a bad choice, learn from it and make choices that correct that mistake…but accept the responsibility for that choice. Besides, good results often come from bad choices. Remember, you chose to place your foot upon the path you now tread…no one forced you there. Every choice in your life is a fork in that path. And like a network of paths that thread through a forest, you can usually find your way back onto your original course simply by making corrective choices at each fork.

Right now, I want to challenge each and every one of you. I challenge you to pledge to yourself:

* to stop being a victim

* to accept the consequences of your actions

* to take responsibility for the results of your choices

* to root all of your choices in principles and not in convenienceand above all, to vow to sacrifice no more!

Welcome, Neighbors!

Hello, everyone. I've decided to give this blogging thing a try as a way to work out my thoughts on everything that is happening to our Nation and around the world. I don't know how frequently I'll be posting here, but hopefully my words will resonate for some of you.

About me: I am neither Democrat nor Republican. For those of you who love little pigeonholes, you may call me an Independent American who believes in the Constitution as our Founding Fathers intended it. I am also an ordained Christian minister who is not affiliated with any particular denomination because of my disgust with the dogma and politics in which most denominations are embroiled. I believe in Right and Wrong. I believe in Good and Evil. I believe that the Universe is a logical, merciless, unforgiving place where A is A and that ignoring this and wishing otherwise is a form of suicide. I believe in self-sufficiency. I believe in Free Will. Above all, I believe in Consequences, Forgiveness, and Redemption. I love my Family, My God, and My country. Basically, I am a traditional American.

Have a Happy Easter, everyone!